Today I found myself realizing I had not thought of my own mother on Mother's Day, and I immediately was ill with myself. I conjured up ideas of my future of when my girls might forget me....and then gently, I realized that with my mother having been gone for 33 years and my maternal grandmother gone for 6 years, I hold the torch high in their honor daily.
My brother texted me and complemented me on my parenting, but still gave top ranks to our own mother... memories are very strong. Sometimes, we strengthen them with hope and a skewed perception of "how we remember it". My girls are already doing this with their own childhood. I hear them tell stories and I think, "where was I?" I have no memory of that.
I look around at so many friends and family and think how large this task is of being a mother. I am knee deep in it and there are days I am sure my two would order a new one if it were possible. But, we are stuck with each other. It is a good thing. That glimpse in the rear view mirror that speaks louder than any spoken sound. That begging many nights after teeth are brushed to just snuggle for a few minutes... the disciplining and discipling that go with this title... I just keep going, hoping that my efforts are blessed and multiplied.
Flowers, good food, a nap, presents and a day on the calendar to promote this love, it is cherished and I am grateful. And today's gifts of an organized plastic ware cabinet, a math paper finished without a whine, towels folded, a laugh that echoed through the house and girlish chitchat...now that is a mother's day!